Tuesday's Tea Bag Philosophy - Vol. 2

It would seem that Monday has bled over into Tuesday, bringing with it rain and exhaustion and uh, slight irritability. So I opted for some stress relief tea today. You just have to keep on keepin' on.

Some days are just a bit more of a struggle than others. Days where you're trapped in a house nannying two angry kids under 5 who don't understand why they can't just go out in 48 degree rain so they proceed to transform into tiny, hostile, toddler tornadoes and destroy everything in their paths? That'd be one of those days.

So on that note.

Here's today teabag:

I pride myself on how well I know, well, myself. Especially considering my age. I haven't clocked a lot of years yet, but I have managed to compact decades worth of lessons learned into a measly 25 years. And I think that comes from how I've learned to manage struggle. 

Every single time I tripped - and trust me, I tripped a lot - I got a little better acquainted with the person I am. Those nights spent memorizing the fibers in your carpeting because you've been collapsed on the floor crying for two hours? I've been there. More than once. And it's down there at the bottom, when your eyes are burning and you can feel the salt streaks on your face that you begin to get a glimpse of the kind of person you actually are. Those struggles and days that are really hard, where you're tired and you catch every red light and the guy got your order wrong at PinkBerry and your dad died, that's when you're forced to confront this person. This person that keeps your relentless company. 

I know what I'll accept now, from myself and from other people. I know what I won't accept. I know that I'm not a morning person and my best writing happens at night in complete silence. I know that I'm vulnerable and that that isn't wrong or bad or weak. I know that sometimes it's okay to resent always being strong and that I like a guy with a beard. I have a vague idea of what I want my future to look like and a very vivid picture of what I DON'T want it to include. I know that I don't have to get married and that I absolutely do not and will never like mushrooms or sushi with cream cheese. I know that I have to be open to failure or I'll stop learning. And that when I'm feeling terrified of loneliness, I should probably take myself, and only myself, out for a glass of wine and confront the terror. Like a champ. 

There's a long way to go, I know. But on days like today when I'm tired and I want to be in my pajamas and I'm sick of my job and worried about school, I have to remember that I'm here in my own company. And I can handle it. I know that because I know myself. 

Bam. 

Nothin' like a little insight for your Tuesday. 

Bundle up and have a cup. 

xo. 

p.s. I hereby solemnly swear to never rhyme intentionally again.